Life is all about making the right connections. The people who you want to work with aren’t necessarily going to be your best friends. Join your host Stephen Jaye as he talks to the CEO of TealHouse and the creator of Frequency Coder, Jaqui McCarthy. Jaqui explains the frequency coder as an onion with many layers. There are people inside and the distance between them will determine their compatibility. There are also all the layers that you have to keep in mind. Listen in if you want to understand the frequency coder and how it’s different from a Myers Briggs test. Start understanding yourself today!
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Using Frequency And Motivation To Make Better Connections With Jaqui McCarthy Of Frequency Coders
Sometimes, a part of the journey needs to be understanding ourselves, others, who we are and how we interact with one another. This is where behavioral science comes in. My guest is Jaqui McCarthy. She is a behavioral scientist and serial entrepreneur, which I know a lot of you readers out there will be pursuing entrepreneurship eventually as a path. She has some interesting ideas about understanding our behaviors. We are all familiar with at least one of the personality tests, whether it’s the Myers-Briggs or Big Five. Her idea is to measure this personality measure or motivations to understand ourselves on multiple dimensions.
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Jaqui, welcome to the program.
Thank you for having me.
Thank you for joining. First of all, what would you describe behavioral science to really mean if you were to explain it in a minute or two?
Behavioral science understands how humans interact with others, the technology and then themselves within the technological platforms. You have these algorithms that are trying to understand humans. It’s studying that and gathering actual measurable data to determine how these people behave.
It’s not just how people think. It’s how people are going to behave. A lot of the algorithms might think about what you said. Technology is trying to predict purchasing and shopping behavior. Do you see technology being used to understand behavior on a deeper level about things that matter beyond what you are going to buy?
In a positive light, we are very much struggling with that. Hopefully, we will be seeing a new generation of entrepreneurs coming out and creating more ethical algorithms. A lot of attention is, “How can we better understand consumers so we can sell them a bunch of crap they don’t need?” In a few of the projects that I have taken on in the past, what we did is dove into trying to understand the human factor behind interacting with each other on platforms and how to optimize those connections between people.
We live in an era of loneliness and some of the negative consequences of loneliness. We are very disconnected. People are turning to violence, drugs, suicide and all these terrible things because we need human connection. Do you see hope in people understanding human behavior on this level and then designing algorithms to help us make better connections with one another? Do you see that as barely treading water and not making a difference?
It’s going to depend a lot on where investors are going to put their money. Where is the return on ethical algorithms? Is there going to be a monetary return? It’s not most likely a lot of the time. In the case of WiGo Trips, which was a platform that we developed, it’s connecting random strangers to each other but understanding who they are so that when they do connect, their experiences are optimized. We had a way to monetize it by booking travel. It’s going to be up to the entrepreneurs to find those monetization strategies or up to the investors to invest in things that aren’t necessarily going to return the money but will make the world a better place.
One place I naturally go is some wealthy philanthropy. It’s things like the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation. In their case, malaria is their biggest thing, but I know they also do a lot of other things. Do you see that as possibly a way that these social entrepreneurs will get the funding to create the platforms that will improve human connection? Do you think that it requires that creativity with booking travel?
The people who you want to work with are not going to be the same people you enjoy your lunch with. Click To TweetNow that you have mentioned something like that, that would be fantastic. It goes back to the investor. Does the investor see and care enough about this problem? Technology connected us all, but it disconnected all the humans at the same time. When, where and how will we put enough attention onto this matter for it to matter enough for people to put their money into it, even though there’s no return or we have to go fall back?
Maybe this is a hopeful fantasy in one way that all these wealthy early investors in Facebook and these other platforms that have now come to the realization that these platforms have disconnected us will donate some of their money to these entrepreneurs to try to make things right.
Who is raising their hand to say, “I was a part of this problem and I want to fix it. I’m willing to write a check and invest into solving this problem?” Even though someone is creating something or a plugin to go into Facebook, does Facebook pay for those to make it more ethical?
The only example I can think of is Tristan Harris in the Center for Humane Technology. His focus is less on re-establishing the connections and more on making the technology itself less harmful, which is also an important part of the entire process, given that these platforms are not going away.
It’s our future. It’s eventually the metaverse and going into this whole virtual world. I see my kids playing on those virtual worlds on their little tablets. They are not nice to each other. When you have a fake identity and you are an avatar and you are not using your real name, you can be a bully to whoever you want to be. It’s like, “How do we meet this problem early on, bring this value to the table and show humanity in a technological world?”
It can be stress-inducing. When I think about the metaverse, I get a little bit down about the idea that we have already gone so far down the rabbit hole. We are going to have these headsets on possibly twelve hours a day in some future world. That sounds depressing to me. On a happier note, I was going to ask you to talk a little bit about your dimensions of behavioral personality work as it pertains to all of us trying to understand ourselves and our social interactions.
Frequency Coder was a project I took on and I have been working on for many years. I didn’t know how to code, but then I ended up teaching myself how to code. I was able to develop it, or at least the beta version of it. Where I want to get it to is like, “You have your personality profile and we can put it into an AI. This AI can take your information and someone else’s information, input them both together, see how you guys will interact and recommend you both to each other.” I would love to get it to that point.
Frequency Coder measures you. Unlike the Myers-Briggs and a lot of the other personality tests, we don’t measure introversion or extroversion. We measure frequency. Frequency is the energy that you are bringing. It’s the energy I bring to you and the energy you bring to me. That’s number one. The perception is like, “Who are the dreamers and realists? How would you perceive the world around you?”
You have your group roles, leaders, independents and followers. In a group setting, you don’t want to have a group of ten leaders in there. That will create a situation where a lot of people are butting heads. You also don’t want a bunch of followers in there because no one will know where to get things started. If you have a bunch of independent people who are artists or solo people, no one is going to be talking to each other.
You want to have a good healthy group with a leader to the followers, but they have to have a shared interest and then a couple of independent people here who can help out with the creativity. That’s how you optimize that group relation. It’s motivation like, “How are you motivated?” We have people who are motivated by authority. They have to be in charge. They are usually your officers or political leaders. You have people who are motivated by harmony, bringing peace into the world and within their friends, and making sure that the world is a good place, kind and calm.
You have people like myself who are very impact-oriented. We are here on a mission to create some impact. You have your achievers. It’s people who are motivated by achievement. They want to be recognized for how well they do. They are usually your CEOs and the people who climb up the corporate ladder. People who are motivated by experience are typically traveler types. They travel around the world, go and see a new place, meet new people, and do new things. They are constantly doing new novelty seekers.
You have people who are motivated by security like, “I’m going to make sure my finances are in place and my family is taken care of. I want to know where I’m going to be tomorrow in 5 or 10 years and have a good plan. I’m going to go ahead and follow it.” Once you take all those parts together, you end up with a personality type.
We have the go-getters. As you can imagine, the go-getters are typically motivated by either achievement or impact. Your alphas are people who need to be in charge. Your engineers are people who love to problem-solve. They can be mixed with a bunch of different things. They can be impact-oriented, achievement-oriented or security-oriented. The hippies are the peace and love people. Harmony crusaders are people who drag change. The ones who are out there are the activists.
The caregivers are people who take care and are harmony-oriented. They tend to be the caretakers, the moms and dads of the group. The networkers are very high-frequency people who know everybody. They collect people. The artists are the independent types. They like to be by themselves. The adventurers are the experienced seekers. Those are our personality traits and all the different parts that we input into it.
As you were going through that list, I heard parts of myself in several of the different personality types. I feel a part of myself in the impact but also the adventurer and networker. Are people usually a mixture of a few kinds or is it more common for people to just be one on that list?
That’s one thing that’s unique about the Frequency Coder over the Myers-Briggs. We don’t just classify you under four. You have a personality type. You are probably more likely a networker because you do like to collect people and bring them onto your show. You talk, meet and go out there. You are constantly putting yourself in situations where you are meeting new people and putting them into your pocket.
You would score high for being a networker, but you are adventurous or it might be the next score up. You will be able to see which one is your highest score and then how far away the next one is from that. Your motivation would be the experiences and even being able to buy curiously how does experience through the people that you bring in.
Whenever I talk about myself in the Myers-Briggs, I’m an ENFP. Eight percent of the population is ENFP or whatever percentage is, but not everyone else I know that’s also an ENFP is necessarily going to be the same exact person. There are always going to be some differences in that. Is this the way you go about putting together the right combination of people if you think about what people you need to be around for your best chance of a successful, happy and meaningful life or however you want to phrase it? One of the areas where we see a lot of pain in work is people either being in the wrong role or being around the wrong person. Is this the right way if you were to set up your ideal team of eight people to go after a certain problem?
Length of travel can affect how people interact with each other. It will vary based on the amount of time spent. Click To TweetI don’t think legally you can do that, which is unfortunate. If you want to take on a project and the project is mental health, you want to get a certain type of personality type, but then you are going to need to mix that in with the group role. You need your leaders. How many leaders do you need to bring that change? Those leaders, you are going to put them into a think tank to discuss all the possible outcomes. You want the leaders to be the people who are going to speak up, be loud and present the right points to argue that out.
Once you have the plan in place, then you need to select a couple of leaders. Maybe it’s out of that think tank or from outside. You need to get the people who will follow that leader but also care enough about that same thing to bring up areas that may be complicated. You need the frequency. We need to measure like, “In this situation, do we need a lot of high-energy people who come in and do those, who might get distracted? Do we need a lower frequency who could go a little bit slower but make sure it’s done properly?”
Versus having a startup incubator accelerator, you are probably going to want more high-frequency people. It’s probably 1 or 2 leaders in there who know how to work with other leaders and show them how to bring on other followers. You need to have a bunch of different roles. You can take that all with something like this and get those pieces.
It’s interesting putting these pieces together because I have so many questions on my mind about it. We have the people in our lives who make us feel good. We have our pleasant interactions. We sometimes have the interactions of what we need. The energy you need is different than the energy that your brain wants at that particular moment in time. I’m wondering how that factors into putting together the right group because you can’t have it all be painful, but you also can’t all be happy and then not get the friction or pushback that you sometimes need to have your best chance of success.
You are going to want fewer hippies. The harmony number needs to be somewhere in the middle. You don’t want people who are extreme on the harmony because then, they are going to do whatever is necessary to make sure that there’s not a lot of conflict in them with the situation. They are also not going to welcome a lot of disruption into what they are doing. Harmony is going to be the most important thing.
On the average group-forming exercise, whether I’m hiring a team or deciding on a group of people to eat dinner with, what do you think is the biggest mistake people make in putting together the right group for an event?
It’s thinking that the same group can be the same group to do the other thing with. Who you want to work with to do something meaningful and impactful are not going to be the same people you want to go and enjoy your lunch or go on a three-month vacation with. You need to understand like, “Just because you are friends doesn’t mean you are going to work or travel well together.” That’s probably the biggest mistake that people do because they think, “I can make any relationship work within any situation or environment.” That is very incorrect.
In a balanced life, you should have three networks. It’s a personal, operational and strategic network. That’s even a little bit of an oversimplification. One of the things that I have done in the past is trying to make everyone all three, like being friends with my coworkers and then talking to them about the meaning of life at 3:00 in the morning. Sometimes, people are meant to only play a specific role in your life.
Are there certain settings where that is a little bit less crucial? I’m thinking that you are going out to lunch. You have a group of hippies and they are all getting along. They are all like, “I love peace.” Is that maybe a possible mismatch because you are not varying up the motivations and frequencies? Is it benign or something harmful because of the way we have our polarization, clustering and people getting so entrained in one thought that they can’t handle differences in opinions and perspectives?
It goes back to multi-dimensional layering. Frequency Coder, for me, was like a layer one of an onion. Another layer of the onion that I later worked on is this travel inventory called Travel Styles. The Travel Styles survey took into account things like the length of travel because people, depending on the personality and all these other new layers that were introduced, how they interact with each other will vary based on the amount of time spent.
Where you go to a 30 to 1-hour lunch with someone versus three months in Africa, it’s going to be very different outcomes how much energy someone brings in. With that said, I did have dinner once with someone. I tend to be impact-oriented. My go-getter is high up there too, but my alpha is not very high. This person’s alpha was extremely high. They were more authority-oriented than I was.
It was around the time of the election and we had polar opposite views. Our one-hour dinner ended up with me sitting on the opposite side of the table because this person was going to lose their s*** on me. I’m high frequency. This person is more low frequency. Their authority drive tried to bulldoze my energy, but I decided to remove myself from the situation instead. Where these shorter periods of time spent with each other shouldn’t matter, they still do.
One thing I want to get the readers oriented on a little bit is this high versus low frequency because I have heard this in a lot of different contexts. I have heard even in some spiritual and mental health circles the desire to raise your frequency. It sounds like what you are talking about is that there are two different modes that are equally valuable in different contexts.
Let’s think of Bob Ross. He would be what I consider the low frequency, where he talks slow. He talks about the mountains. You have someone like Brian Chesky, the Founder of Airbnb. He speaks fast as I do. He is very energetic. He is moving on stage. Steve Jobs would not be all the way a high frequency. Elon Musk would probably be somewhere in the middle. Mark Zuckerberg is at the bottom portion. It’s like, “How much energy do you bring?”
We will go back to introversion and extroversion. Are the people who are extroverts more energized? Are the people who are introverts completely drained? If so, you are high frequency. If it’s the opposite, where the people who are extroverted need to get out in the way from you because they need energy and you are boring, it’s not necessarily that you are boring. It’s just you are boring to that person because they need that energy. If the introverts are happy and content, they are at a lower frequency.
If you don't have the eyes to interpret the color purple, you're going to have a hard time knowing what purple even looks like. Click To TweetThere are some groups where there’s always got to be something going on. The music has to be playing. It’s like, “We will put on the radio and movie. We will also play a game at the same time.” In other groups where they are together, they are perfectly fine with big gaps in the conversation even. That’s one of the things that took me forever to learn because the younger version of me used to assume that any time I’m with someone and there’s a gap in the conversation, that’s a failure on my part.
It’s like, “This is going wrong. This person is going to want to run for the exit and not be around me because there’s nothing happening. We are not playing a game, watching anything and conversing over anything.” It’s interesting to see that difference in expectations around different groups of people like that.
Sometimes those people are happy. There’s a cartoon animation movie called Up. It’s the guy with the balloons that fly his house out to the waterfall. He was low frequency. His wife in that movie was super high frequency. She chatted and he listened.
The broader interesting point is about understanding. This is an aspect of maturity that, hopefully, people get to at some point in life. It’s understanding that people are different. Not everyone is motivated and repelled by the same thing that you are motivated and repelled by.
That goes back to our conversation. If you don’t have the cones to interpret the color purple, you are going to have a hard time knowing what the color purple even looks like. It’s hard. You have to put yourself in a situation where you can understand it logically, even though you cannot experience it yourself.
As we all have our own frequency, we have our different dimensions of motivation traveling in every single dimension. Is understanding yourself a prerequisite to understanding your interactions with others and how others are going to interact with you? Do they all move in tandem as you get an understanding of it all at the same time?
You have to understand yourself. If you don’t understand yourself, you are always going to try and make everyone else happy. You are pushing people away and not understanding why you are pushing them away or why people are taking advantage of you. You are only responsible for your happiness alone and the experiences that you get out of those relationships. You cannot fix, adjust, change or modify anything for the other person other than being true to who you are. If that person likes you, then great. If not, it’s none of your business. Let it go.
That’s something a lot of people struggle with. One of the forms of self-sabotage or imposter syndrome is the idea of being a people-pleaser. It’s someone who always needs to please everyone all the time. It would help a lot of people who have issues with always trying to please everyone to get this understanding that if someone is not pleased by you or doesn’t like you, maybe it’s this mismatch and frequency that you are talking about or that they need something other than what you are providing at this moment.
You need someone who wants to be around your energy. It’s not about you catering to someone else. They are not the prize. You are the prize. Who you are is a wonderful and amazing human being who has all these experiences, personalities, motivations and frequencies. You need to surround yourself with the people who want that energy. It’s not the people who are going to make you feel bad, doubt yourself or question things. Learning more about yourself and loving that character that you are is, first and foremost, the most important thing and then everyone else. If they don’t treat you the way that you treat yourself, you are not going to accept that.
Let’s say someone is undergoing a process. From the very beginning, you are lost. You don’t know why you are where you are in life. It’s all the things that I’m trying to help with this program, as well as some other initiatives. You are on this journey to getting to where you want to be. Part of that journey is getting a better understanding of yourself. As you get a better understanding of yourself, is it inevitable that you are going to lose some people along the way because, at some point, something about your understanding of yourself is going to shift?
It’s like being pruned. When you are a grapevine, you need to be pruned to grow. It’s getting rid of the pieces that are stunting your growth. I wrote on my course these 23 stages that you go through in life. It talks about each stage, from detaching from your parents and friends to self-discoveries. Through this journey we all go through, it’s part of the process. When you are open to the process, you grow and become whatever you want to become. There’s no limitation to that.
Who you are innately in that part never changes, but you can put in different codes to give you new perspectives and optimizations. Once you remove all the hard parts and grow through that pain, freedom, lightness and growth that you take on, you can start attracting other people at different levels who accept and love you and then you thrive. It sucks removing some of the people, but the outcomes in the end are freedom and bliss.
What would you say is a good motivator for someone who knows deep down inside something from their past? They need to let go of a limiting belief or some concept but they are afraid to.
The fear of the unknown is real because we never know what is waiting for us on the other side. I like to say, “What is scarier than jumping out of a plane?” It’s never getting to experience the sensation, freedom, wind and all the things of jumping out of that plane, landing and knowing that it was slightly limited.
The same way like jumping into the unknown in life as you shed some things and embrace your true self is scary. Sometimes it’s even scarier to imagine yourself on your deathbed, having never done that and having to live this lie in your whole world. You live people-pleasing and being who someone else wants you to be for your entire life.
People-pleasing with no one at your bedside and completely alone, those weren’t your people. There was no loyalty. How are you going to expect to find people who are loyal when you are not even loyal to yourself? Shakespeare said, “To thine own self be true.” When you are true to yourself, you don’t accept the lies and scams. I have gone through the journey. People were thinking I was crazy there for a while because I had this vision and I was like, “I’m going to leave my corporate job. I want to jump into this entrepreneurial world.” I did it.
In the process, I met some of the most incredible people. I had experiences I would never have had and the freedom to truly authentically live. The other thing too is, when you are in the environment with the people, you are like, “I’m going to do this.” They are like, “That idea sucks. That will never happen. No one will ever understand it.” Those people are anchors. They are going to anchor you down.
The only thing scarier than jumping from a plane is to never experience what it feels like to jump out of a plane. Click To TweetWhen you go to other environments where people who are like yourself and understand you, you are telling them like, “This is what I’m building.” They are like, “That’s incredible. Have you thought of this and that? What about this? How can I help?” It’s a completely different environment. You start thriving instead of being anchored. You are like, “You are right. That is a stupid idea. I will throw that idea into the trash and continue doing whatever job I’m doing or whatever friends I’m doing and being taken advantage of and never living fully.”
It’s interesting because people are afraid to lose that, but they are not seeing what they are going to gain. It reminds me of the event that we met at. The thing I love about Startup Week is that for that week of the year, you are not around the people who sit around and complain about whatever the world’s problems are. You are around the people who are doing something about it. I got to be around all sorts of people who are doing far more than I’m even doing toward creating this new world. It was fantastic.
Do you believe that everybody has the capacity to find something that’s more true to themselves? Whatever it is, it doesn’t have to be Startup Week or any of my other personal favorite events. Do you think everyone has the capacity to find the group and people who are going to be at that right frequency, encouraging and thinking on the right vibe?
I have not met a situation with someone where there wouldn’t be a path to that. An artist must do art. A writer must write. A singer must sing. A traveler must travel. In those situations, you will always find people with that commonality. When you go with your life’s mission, purpose, cause or whatever drives you, you tend to find people who are similar to yourself on those same roads, whether it’s art class, on the airplane or in a community on Facebook, that’s hopefully an ethical community with an algorithm. Frequency Coder being able to put those into existing platforms to optimize those to help you find those people would be phenomenal.
With Frequency Coder, what is your overall plan for this? Is this something you envision people finding the right coworkers or the right cofounders finding the right social situation? Is this going to be broad to anyone who is looking to connect with anyone for any reason?
It can be used to find a cofounder or optimize a group. How I envisioned it always is when it’s like, “How can I make this?” The human interaction on tech platforms has always been fascinating to me. It’s like, “Here is a platform. Here are the people, but then the people aren’t engaged. How can we optimize the engagement but not just any engagement? How can we connect them online and bring them together in the real world?
With dating apps even, you have all these people. It was a couple of good dates, but then there was no long-term anything out of it. How do we change this? That’s what I have always loved. Frequency Coder is like the first layer of an onion. If you think of an imaginary sphere that’s in front of you, the Frequency Coder is the sphere. Inside the sphere is a bunch of people. Depending on how close or distant they are in the sphere, it will determine the compatibility with each other, work environment, dating or friendship. The distance would determine how compatible they are.
You add the next layer, which is the travel style. That’s either going to bring people in this larger sphere closer to each other or further away from each other because now you have different data points that are put in there. If we add another layer, I don’t know if it is political. Maybe it’s an interest. You name it. That will bring people closer to each other or further away from each other, but then it starts to understand, “These people can travel together, be married or date.” You have this thing, so then it will understand like, “Here’s this space.” Where you lie in the space, you will be able to connect and optimize each one of those environments for you.
That makes perfect sense because a cofounder needs to have the traits that you lack in some capacity or another. If you are a big picture, visionary person, you need the COO who is going to do the operations that are going to get it done. It’s the same thing with dating. Everyone had a story at one point in their lives when they tried dating essentially another version of themselves. It felt good for two weeks and then it fell apart in disaster.
There’s another set of complementary traits you need in that with travel partners or even people to be your friend. Something that a lot of people ignore are your strategic partners, which are the people who you turn to once a month and discuss, “This is where I’m going with this and that. How does that factor out from a different perspective?”
Even then with the marriage thing, it would be fine to date someone who is like you as long as you are okay with not seeing yourself very frequently. Those are going to be more of your two CEOs married to each other, but they have to have the open-mindedness to that. It’s bringing that all to the background. We don’t have anything like that now that is being implemented for use.
I think about the Social Dilemma and anything else of our experiences with social media. The incentive is to get your eyes glued as much as possible to the screen. It’s interesting because the first attempt to use technology to do something other than that is the website/app called Meetup, where it tries to bring people together for an actual in-person event. It sounds like Meetup may have fallen short because it is only one dimension, the physical activity, which serves a good purpose, but you are looking to go beyond that with Frequency Coder.
What is cool about Frequency Coder is you could plug it into Meetup, Facebook and Tinder. Tinder doesn’t have to be known for a hookup site. When I had Tinder, I had it for four years. I was a four-year-paying Tinder customer. I had an innate understanding of this, so I never had a bad date. I have met so many incredible people on that app. It was insane. I understood why, but I don’t swipe on people because of the way they look. I swipe on what words they use, who they are, what pictures they take and what their worldview is. I can align that well with mine because I have that understanding.
It sounds like Frequency Coder is embedding it into the algorithm. Is it still important that people develop that understanding? Even with Frequency Coder and that AI capability, people still understand, “This is my energy and this is the energy I need in these situations.” Can people forget about it and trust it all to the algorithm?
You have to understand it very well. It’s something that can be done. It would be great for people to understand it. I have a lot of years in this. In a future world where people are wearing glasses that have augmented reality, maybe it’s too dystopian. It’s like, “Do you need to learn it?” If you had the information right there, it’s more of a crutch instead of innately learning it. To innately learn it would be the optimal approach.
One of the things that’s interesting is the idea of using it to train yourself. A lot of times, early in life, as a teenager, you have way different things on your mind. You are not thinking about, “What people do I need to surround myself with for success?” Maybe a few people are, but that’s less than 2% of all people at the teenage age.
It could use something like this to learn it themselves over time because most people are not aware of frequency. They have this keen thing like, “This person makes me feel good, so I’m going to hang out with this person more.” That’s pretty much the extent to what most people do without even realizing and thinking about it on that level.
I have two kids. They are teenagers. I teach them all this stuff all the time. I don’t think my son even cares. He is also very motivated by sensation. If he feels good around people who are enjoyable, he prefers to be in those environments. My daughter is more like, “You must prove yourself to me before I even accept you into my world or before you can breathe my air.” Both of them have heard me speak about the stuff over and over again, but they don’t always take my advice. It’s a part of, “Where are you in life? Do you want to understand more?”
It brings me back to thinking about that dinner conversation you were talking about because I have seen a version of that happen in a lot of places where one person comes in. They want to have a political debate. The other person doesn’t want to have a debate. They want to have a different experience. Are people coming to this awareness of these frequencies going to be more likely to understand, “We want different things or maybe I can switch up because this is the person I’m around?”
That would be a perfect situation for that. It’s understanding like, “It has nothing to do with me. It’s not because they don’t like me. It’s that they don’t like the intensity of this conversation that goes against things that they believe in. It makes them feel uncomfortable.”
That’s a great thing to realize because we have all been on both sides of that particular equation.
If you are an activist having this conversation and someone else doesn’t want to have it, as an activist, you are going to be motivated by impact. You are going to be motivated like, “This is a conversation we have to have, regardless of how comfortable you are.” Someone who is a hippie is going to say, “I understand this situation and that there’s a problem, but I’m motivated by harmony. This isn’t a situation or an environment that I want to bring turbulence into.” You have two different things. Both are going to think that they are right. By understanding this, both of you understand that you are not responsible for the other person’s emotions. What you can do is walk away or continue the conversation.
Who you are is a wonderful amazing human being that has all these amazing experiences and personalities and motivations and frequencies and you need to surround yourself with the people who want that energy. Click To TweetI want to give my audience a chance to get some more information or try out the Frequency Coder. What would anyone reading want to learn more about how it was built or see how they can use it in their day-to-day lives or even learn more of your commentary? Where would someone look? Do you have a web page you can share with everyone?
It’s FrequencyCoder.com. If you email me at Info@FrequencyCoder.com, I can give you access to the beta.
It’s a great thing to do and learn a little bit more about ourselves, how we interact with each other, and what we can do better to find the right people and interact with them the right way.
Do better on platforms so that we can bring real, raw and authentic connection into a world that no longer has it.
Jaqui, thank you so much for joining us on the show and sharing some of your insights about how we can figure out who we are and who we want to be around, and how to be more authentic in the connections we make with one another.
It was my pleasure.
Important Links:
- Jaqui McCarthy
- WiGo Trips
- Center for Humane Technology
- Frequency Coder
- Meetup
- Info@FrequencyCoder.com
About Jaqui McCarthy
A lifelong curiosity of understanding human behavior, human relations, and human interactions with technology led her to develop behavioral-based algorithms for two companies she founded, Frequency Coder and WiGo Trips, along with a 13-year career working for Fortune 500 companies in the wireless technology industry.
Her career is complimented with a BA in Business with an emphasis in Business Development and Human Relations and graduate studies in Industrial Psychology and Research Psychology. She also carries a Certificate in Entrepreneurship from Wharton University.
Her other accomplishments include founding Haute Productions, a global fashion production company, and iPix Pro, an event photography booking platform for social media captures and uploads. Her most important accomplishments however, is being the mother to two incredible human teenagers and dog mom to a very well-loved miniature schnauzer.